LET GO...
"Let go"...
I have heard these words being said to me so many times,
But no matter how short and sweet and wise these words may seem,
They are just so hard to follow...
It is just so so hard to let go of things...
Things i love...
Things i hold dear...
Things close to my heart...
But then there is a very funny thing i have noticed...
It's not hard to let go of only all things good...
It is also very hard to let go of things that hurt me...
Things that cause me pain...
And i wonder...
Is this trait with just me...
Or do others suffer from this funny habit too...
And if you think hard...
And look deep inside yourself...
You will see that this fact holds true for most of us...
While it is tough for us to let go of the good things in life...
It is still harder for us to let go of the bad parts that exist in our lives...
And i seriously wonder why???
I mean it's understandable...
Wanting to hold on to memories of things that bring us joy...
Wanting to remember forever those moments that bring a smile to our faces...
But why do we remember each and every minute detail of a fight with a loved one...
The bitter words exchanged with someone dear...
The hurt someone meted out to us...
Why is it so hard for us to forgive, forget and let go of other's mistakes...
Other's shortcomings...
We may forget the laughter we once had shared with someone special...
But we will reminisce with great detail what wrong that person did to us...
We may erase from our memories a person's good points...
But never fail to remember each and every small fault he has...
WHY???
Why do we hold on to the bad and cause ourselves pain...
Life is like grains of sand...
When you hold the grains of sand tightly in your fist...
The grains begin to trickle out...
And when you open your fist...
You are left with nothing but a few solitary grains...
But if you hold them loosely...
More the number of grains remain put in your fist...
Never hold on to things in life...
Either good or bad...
Let them go...
If you deserve the good things they will remain...
Lying in your fist forever...
But the minute you try to capture happiness...
It will evade you...
And escape...
As for the bad parts...
Everybody in the world has them...
Let bygones be bygones...
There is no point reliving the pain...
The hurt...
Revenge is not the answer...
Nor is thinking about the past...
Sure we all get hurt sometime or the other...
But we should accept, learn and grow from our pain...
Instead of letting our anger and unhappiness grow...
Open your fist...
And let go...
Savour life...
And each moment...
Hold on to the things that bring happiness and sunshine to your lives...
Hold on to your loved ones...
Your friends, family...
And let go...
Of memories that bring a tear to your eye...
Of moments that pierce your heart...
Let go...
And live...
Life ...
With a Smile...
Let go...
And Enjoy...
Let go...

UMMMMM.......

God...!!!
The heat is getting to me....
And to top it off,with the month long exams dancing with a frantic pace upon my head...
It's a wonder i'm still in my senses...
Am so bored out of my wits...
Studying when the rest of the world(Exclude my poor fellow engineers) are busy soaking up the sun and having fun...
It's so frustrating to sit with books lying open all around me...
Trying to shove seemingly unnecessary formulae into my brain...
Which by the way seems to have have melted in this scorching summer sun...
Was so bored that i threw caution to the winds...
And inspite of having a tough paper day after...
And not knowing the xyz of it...
I decided to blog...
But....
Ooooh...How i hate that word...
Whenever the word but appears be sure there is something
not that great coming after it...
So as i was saying...
Decided to blog but...
As i sat staring at my computer screen no words came to mind...
I was blank...
I just couldn't think what to blog about..
And what with my mother screaming like a banshee in the background
to go study...
Whatever scraps of ideas i had, flew out of the window...
Sheesh...
Life sucks...
But then stubborn that i am...
I had to post something now that i was online...
So then i was hit by a brainwave...
Why not blog and let all ya beautiful people know...
THAT I DONNO WHAT TO BLOG ABOUT...!!!
I mean, i spent almost an hour wondering and pondering...
But nope...
No clue what to post...
So just decided to leave this post...
As a proof that i'm lost...
But i still exist...
Speechless i may be...
But still alive...
And will be back...
To post again and share with you all my great thoughts...
God...
I AM seriously BORED ain't i...????

LEAVE ME IN SOLITUDE...

It's one of those days...
When nothing seems to be going right...
When every task i touch seems to be backfiring on me...
My head is spinning,my eyes are growing heavy...
I want to run away from it all...
My life..my family..my friends..
I just want to leave everything behind...
And be free...
The everyday things that usually comfort me by their presence seem to be stifling me...
I feel suffocated in this world of familiar people...
I feel like a caged bird,beating my wings against the bars of my cage...
But no one seems to notice...
I want to be set free...
To spread my wings and soar in the blue skies...
It's one of those days when all i want to do is be alone...
Want to be left in solitude...
But it is funny isn't it...?
How sly life can be...
When today all i want is my lonliness...
Throngs of people surround me...
Talking,questioning....involving me in their senseless chatter...
And then just yesterday...
When my lonliness was biting into me like frostbite...
I could find no one beside me...
To talk,to listen...
I wonder why life is always playing such tricks on us...
What we want is almost never what we get...
Though the object of our desire is often swinging in front of us at a tantalizing arms reach...
The distance to reach out and get it is always too far...

And no matter how hard we try...

It always seems to be just a mirage in the desert...
Right at,at this very moment all i want is to be alone...
To be the only human being on earth (Ok exaggeration!Maybe within a hundred yards is a better option)...
But alas...
My want is and will remain just another MIRAGE...
For this moment...

You must be wondering...
Why is this lass whining on and on about wanting to be alone and boring us...
And then if she wants it so badly why doesn't she just go get it...
How???
Well i can just go lock myself in my room for hours...
Or switch off my cell phone...
Or just go for a nice long walk along the beach...
But that is not the solitude i seek...
The emptiness around me that i search for...
I want complete solitude...
Where i don't need to think...
Or pretend...
Or act...
Solitude where i can just be me...
And not worry about the world...
And its mudane facts...
I want solitude...
Just solitude...
And nothing else...

DO YOU HEAR ME ??????????
I WANT SOLITUDE......
SO CAN ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE JUST LET ME BE....
AND...
LEAVE ME IN SOLITUDE.....

(PS: Ok before all you bloggers out there, read this post of mine and think that i have gone completely wacky...let me just tell you this that i've just had a hard day and well, i just want a break from the hectic life i have been living...Is it such a big crime for a gal to ask to be left alone for sometime, once in a while? And no i haven't lost it...
I know i didn't make much sense in this post but well the words just came flowing out so i just let it flow without putting much thought to it...
Now after reading the post i'm wondering whether to publish it but...what the heck...
When i have put in so much time and effort into it,i might as well post it....
That's a different matter that i too cannot really understand what i've tried to convey through this post...HEHE
So if anyone out there has an inkling of what i'm trying to say, then please be kind enough to drop in and let me know too.....)

CRY BABY CRY...

This song is the latest composition of one of the greatest guitar maestros of our times.....
CARLOS SANTANA!!!!
Featuring Joss Stone and Sean Paul it is a song revolving around a conversation between a couple.
While the guy is asking for forgiveness the girl is ready to walk away from the pain and hurt the guy caused her.
The guy reminds the girl of all the good things they had ever shared together but for the girl, her trust on that guy has been shattered forever,
As the guy begs to be given one more chance
the girl decides to snuff out the light of their once upon a time relationship.
And as the chorus goes the girl has cried too much...
Now it's time for the guy to cry his heart out.
This song with it's simple but meaningful words,
captivating and catchy tune and an amazing background score on the guitar by
Santana is a must hear for all Santana fans......



As for me who is presently (read for the last 3 months and mostly for the next 6)
am heartbroken and mad at the guy who shattered my heart...
Well the wordings seem to suit my mood
and are the apt feelings i want to convey to _ _ _ _ _ _
You you broke my heart darlin' and now i have no more tears....
Now it's your turn to cry.....
Yeah.....
CRY BABY CRY.....

CRY BABY CRY
-SANTANA
(feat.Joss Stone,Sean Paul)

[VERSE 1:]
Goin back to the memories
Reminiscing 'bout and me
Thinkin how it used to be
Its plain and clear i treated you bad
But girl you know that i care
Every relation(ship) have wear and tear...
Just draw near girl and try to hear and listen what my heart says.

Many days and many nights
Many heartbreaks...Many fights
Many wrongs but so many rights
So girl don't let this love die
Never meant to 'cause you no pain
Girl i never meant to treat you lame.
Gimme one more chance rewind come back again.
Don't let this love die.


[CHORUS:]
Just cry baby cry
(Don't cry no more)
Cause every tear that flows falls into the ocean
and rises to the sky
And then the rain will come
Right before the sun shines...


[VERSE 2:]
Can you feel me reaching out to you girl,can you hear my open thoughts
Never want (to) disrespect you girl don't let this come break us apart
'Cause i know i would die without you,my girl can you hear my broken heart
Its calling out to the good times that we had back at the start

Baby....(Don't call me baby)
You know i need you in my life daily...(You know you played me)
I was a player but now your love has changed me...(Dead wrong)
I'm going crazy(I'm gone)...Never thought losing you would be so hard


[CHORUS:]
It's your turn to cry baby cry
(Don't cry no more)
Cause every tear that flows falls into the ocean
and rises to the sky
And then the rain will come
Right before the sun shines...

[TAG:]
So let go
And move on
What we were
Is now undone
My tears have all dried
It's your turn now to cry...

[BRIDGE:]
You losing your love and your trust for me girl
And you know,i would go to the ends of the world
If you wanted...Just like we started
Girl 'cause i want to fight no more
Make it like it was before

I tell you the truth and you guide and i cry
And lets get back to the place and the look in your eye
Can you feel it inside
No clouds in your sky
And the sun is gonna shine...


Chat to her Santana! (ie. talk to her...tell her how you feel...play your guitar for her!)

HELL HATH NO FURY.....
16th May,2006
Exactly 1 year,7 months,28 days,17 hours and 15 minutes
after we got together......
He walked out of my life forever....
Shattering my heart...
Leaving tears rolling down my cheeks
And a question of why lingering on my lips...
The guy i had loved had at last broken all ties,
Leaving a gaping hole in my soul....
The reliasation that it was over...
The reliasation that he loved me no more...
HURT....
The hurt was like a physical pain ripping through me,
The hurt of knowing that maybe he had never loved me,
The hurt of knowing that he had treated my love like an everyday commodity,
The hurt of knowing that he had lied to me,
The hurt of knowing that he had cheated on me,
The hurt Hurt......
It hurt like never before,
It hurt like a pain i never knew could exist...
All that i could think was why???
Why did you leave me?
Why did you cheat on me?
Why lie to me?
Where did my love fall short?
Where did i go wrong?
Was it me or was it you who went wrong?
When and where did our paths fork to go in different directions?
Was it only me...Did i fail to see the signs?
I knew that there was something amiss since the last few months...
But you cheating......
Oh my God...
I couldn't have even in my wildest dreams thought that you could cheat on me,
I mean hey you falling for another girl i can bear...
But why would you not tell me that?
I would have found out anyways...
I wish i had found out from you than from others...
God it hurts to know that you didn't tell me.
The question here is not why you left me,
But why did you lie to me?
Why didn't you just come and tell me about "HER"?
I agree i would be hurt,who won't when they get to know that the person they love does not love them...
But believe me...
I loved you so much...
I would have let you go...
If you were not happy with me,i wouldn't have forced you to stay...
Love cannot be bought,it has to be won...
If you were happy with someone else i would be happy for you...
Know why??
Because i loved you _ _ _ _ _ _
And it would this love of mine that would have set you free,
That would have tried to find my happiness in your happiness...
Even if your happiness lay with some other not me...
But today all i feel for you is pain...
And hurt...
Hurt that you didn't trust me enough..
Hurt that you didn't realise the extent of my love for you..
All i can say is _ _ _ _ _ _,
"I LOVED YOU A LOT"
I loved you so much that i would have smilingly given up my live for you,
But now that you have pushed me so far away,
All that is left to say is GOODBYE...
I'm sorry we had to end this way...
Only if you had told me,
You would have lost just a girlfriend,
But not her love,not her respect...
But today by breaking my trust...
You have not only lost my love...
But you have also lost a friend,
A friend who would have stuck by you through thick and thin,
Today all that is left between us
are memories...
Memories scarred by your betrayal...
All that is left are two words...
GOODBYE FOREVER...
_ _ _ _ _ _ my love,my life...
The keeper of my soul,
The sword that tore me and my world apart.

GIVE ME A KISS, AND TO THAT KISS A SCORE;
THEN TO THAT TWENTY, ADD A HUNDRED MORE;
A THOUSAND TO THAT HUNDRED, SO KISS ON;
TO MAKE THAT THOUSAND UP A MILLION;
TREBLE THAT MILLION, AND WHEN THAT IS DONE;
LET'S KISS AFRESH, AS WHEN WE FIRST BEGUN.
-ROBERT HERRICK

If before i die i had a last wish,
That wish would be...
"To be held in your arms and to be kissed by you,
If for every kiss of yours i had to die a thousand deaths....
I would want to be kissed a million times....
For the sweetness and love of each kiss of yours,
Would far outnumber the pain of the thousand deaths i would have to die..."
I miss all your kisses _ _ _ _ _ _ ,My love...

MEMORIES.....

It seems like only yesterday when you and me were together
Sitting in the park,kissing,holding hands
Then truth dawns over me,it's over
You and me are now just names written in the sand
The tide has come in
Washed the "US" away
There are no more words for us to say
Now it's just you and it's just me
The "US" is a dream that never can be
There was a time when both of us walked hand in hand in the rain
Now the growing distance between us is filled with pain
But if i could fall in love with you over again
I would do so,
Even if it meant reliving the pain
The pain of the "US" becoming just you and just me
The pain of the "US" being reduced to just MEMORIES so SWEET...

Hey all you people out there......
I'm so so sure that whoever has read my previous posts is thinking that oh my God....
This girl is so in love,so heartbroken and oh so sad........Well in a way you all are right.I am in love,am heartbroken and sad....uh ya sad but not "oh so sad" just sad......
I mean hey i always believe that one should rise in love not fall in love(Pretty cheesy line huh)So although i am kinda depressed n all i still have fun......
I enjoy my life(except certain bits of it,well who doesn't)
And i know that if i live my life honestly and with a smile on my face....Well maybe oneday my dreams will eventually come true.....
I believe that i have it in me to rise and do well....
No one but moi can keep myself happy......
So i gotta be confident,happy and ya most importantly...
I gotta believe in ME........
Well after reading this i'm sure you have an idea where i'm
heading......
Ummmmm......Ya you're kinda right........
These feelings,these thoughts are from where my poem,
I BELIEVE... got its birth...........
Yeah Baby.I do,i do,i do
I DO BELIEVE IN ME......

I BELIEVE...

I believe in someone...
Someone who'll make all my dreams come true,
Someone who'll do all the things i want to do,
Someone who'll fulfill all my aims,
Someone who won't make me live in vain,
Someone who'll help me move further,
Someone who'll make my life better,
Someone who'll soar in the sky,
Someone who'll never say die,
Someone who'll make each moment worthwhile,
Someone who'll live each day with a smile,
Someone who'll never give up,
Someone who'll reach the top,
Someone who'll never lose hope,
Someone who'll never stop,
Someone who'll face all fears,
Someone who'll conquer her tears,
Someone who'll be completely free,
Someone who'll be what i want to be,
I believe in Someone.....
I believe in ME.....

OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR:
"I AM THE RESURRECTION AND THE LIFE;
HE WHO BELIEVES IN ME,
EVEN IF HE DIES,SHALL LIVE;
AND WHO EVER LIVES
AND BELIEVES IN ME

SHALL NEVER DIE."

Life is never a bed of roses....
The road is often rough and bumpy......
There are times when all we want to do is just give up........
We feel like we have no strength to carry on.....
But still we live and move on......
Because there is a greater power up above........
Watching us....watching each move we make.....
And when the going gets tough.....tough gets the going......
The great Lords guides us and helps us......
Find our way.....
To success,joy and peace......
I believe.....i believe......oh yes i do believe......
I do believe in the Lord.......
I do believe there is a God........

I _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
TAKE _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ,
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD,
TO LOVE AND TO CHERISH,
IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
FOR RICHER OR POORER,
UNTIL DEATH DO US PART.
-WEDDING VOWS

This is how much i love you _ _ _ _ _ _......
You may not be by my side today....
You maybe not be mine to call.....
But you will live forever in my heart........
Because you have become a part of me.....
Cutting you away from my life is like cutting away a part of my soul.........
You may not be mine to call....
But you will remain my everything,my all......
Love you........Always and Forever.....

"I AM ONLY ONE
BUT STILL I AM ONE
I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING
BUT STILL I CAN DO SOMETHING
AND BECAUSE I CANNOT DO EVERYTHING
I WILL NOT REFUSE TO DO
THE SOMETHING THAT I CAN DO"
-EDWARD EVERETT HALE

The poem KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE.....
has been penned by me oneday when i was really blue........
I was depressed and trying to come to terms that the guy i loved with my life didn't have the same feelings for me.............
I just sitting doing nothing when the words the thoughts came rushin to my mind....and i put them down on paper..........
Maybe the poem is not that great nor out of the world but well it comes straight from my heart....
The words feelings emotions are all mine.........
This goes out to you _ _ _ _ _ _ from me.......
Love you now and forever........

LOVE...RELATIONSHIPS...ARE THEY ALL FAKE???
There was a time when i thought love was forever.....
That if you fall in love with someone that person will be with you forever.....
God how wrong i was......
How misguided....
Today love is just another commodity,another part and parcel of life.
Love has lost its charm...It's lost it's exclusivity.....
Today everyone and anyone i know is in love....with love...
Love is not a feeling to be cherished.It's more of an accessory to be flaunted.
And after 18 years of living in the fantasy world of mine where love was a forever thing i got jolted into the real big bad world where we exist,where love is an on off thing... oneday you're in love the next day you're not...
Oh that doesn't mean i didn't have my share of so called "AFFAIRS"....I did,i mean not really affairs but more like boyfriends who well at that point of time seemed amazing and guys i couldn't do without.Well,time passed and i realised that umm..those guys were not that great and noways people i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.They were pretty much okay to be friends with but we had almost nothing in common except that both of us thought that we were in love with each other....Haha...Such amateurs na....Well i woke up to the fact that i wasn't that comfortable with being in love for timepass so well i broke up with all of them and decided it wasn't the right time for me to fall in love and decided to spend my teenage years single and happy....No strings attached.Gosh didn't i think wrong.........so so wrong.Have you ever seen that in life whenever you decide to do something you are faced with such a situation that you are forced to chuck your decisions and do the exact opposite of what you had formerly thought......
Well so i had decided,"No boyfriends for me as of now.Just friends and be happy."
I wish.....
Into my life walked _ _ _ _ _ _.....
Cute,smart,funny...Basically a nice guy....He was my college buddy....someone i knew okay okay,someone i spoke to on and off.But hey in the whole one year i knew him i never looked at him as boyfriend material.He existed,in the periphery of my life but all of a sudden he comes home to give me a book for like 10 minutes and my heart goes out to him?????
GO FIGURE.......
Well i had no option but listen to the stupid rantings of my heart and well.............
Here i am today....Heartbroken...Sad.....Depressed.....Still hopelessly in love with _ _ _ _ _ _ and well going insane coz at this moment i would love to hate him but in the process hate myself coz i can't seem to stay mad at him and am just falling in love with him a little more everyday......
Why why why???
Why _ _ _ _ _ _ after everything do,"I still love you........MORE THAN YESTERDAY BUT LESS THAN TOMORROW......?"

KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE
I've lost all sense of time
Stuck on the edges of insanity
No reason of mine
Can fight your infidelity
Life dealt me a blow
Forced me to let you go
But baby no matter how much you hurt me
I keep coming back for more
Pushing me away
Into a deep black hole
You walked your own way
Abandoning my soul
Sad and confused
It's so hard to define
These whirling thoughts
Running through my mind
Life dealt me a blow
Forced me to let you go
But baby no matter how much you hurt me
I keep coming back for more
Questioning the fragility
Of this feeling called love
I try to break through this captivity
I implore to the Lord above
Set me free
Let me be captive no more
Against the magic of your love holding me
Give me the strength to shut the door
Life dealt me a blow
Forced me to let you go
But baby no matter how much you hurt me
I keep coming back for more
Smiling i'll walk down life's aisle
I promise you i'll be okay
But it may take a while
This heartbreak is not going to pull me down
I won't gaze at love with a frown
Because love is a beautiful feeling
Though the pain you caused me has left me reeling
I'll be fine
I promise you this
It may take time
And now i bid you goodbye with a kiss
Lift dealt me a blow
Forced me to let you go
But baby no matter how much you hurt me
I keep coming back for more.....