FREE FALLING...

Darkness surrounds me...
A whirlwind of dark thoughts swirl around me...
Pushing me into a corner...
Stifling me...
I try to run but i cannot...
I try to escape but the darkness follows...
And overcomes...
And as i loose myself to the darkness i fall...
Deeper and deeper...
Into an abyss...
A deep hole of no return...
And i wonder where exactly i'm heading...
Like a storm in my head...
Like a tornado rushing about...
My thoughts destroy me...
And i cry...
With pain and frustration...
I try to reach out...
To hold on to something...
Someone...
Anyone...
For comfort...
For support...
My thoughts drown me...
I try to fight back...
But it is a no win situation..
And as the depression settles in...
I flounder...
To get a grip over myself...
To overcome the pain...
The hurt...
The shame...
The low self esteem...
The loss in self confidence...
But i cannot...
With every step i take...
I stumble...
And fall...
I'm losing my strenght to fight back...
The want to live...
As once familiar things and people push me away...
I feel dead inside...
Inspite of the storm raging within me...
Emotions refuse to emerge...
I am living...
Yet not alive at the same time...
I feel...
But don't care...
And i'm scared...
Very very scared...
What is happening to me...
What am i becoming...
Fear overrides me...
Embracing me in its chilly arms...
I feel let down..
And like i have let down...
And i'm sinking...
Terror grips me...
And frantically i try...
To resume a semblence of my past...
But the cracks in me seem too wide...
It's too late to repair...
God help me...
I try...
Oh God i try so hard to be good...
To be honest...
To be nice...
But then why me...
Why am i being pushed...
Pushed into a corner...
As dark evil thoughts run through my head..
I cower...
I want to give up...
I want to run away...
From this pain...
This hurt...
This unknown creature i've become...
The sense of foreboding washes over me...
And i tremble...
Afraid of the prospect of what is yet to come...
I'm living in my own personal hell...
That none can see...
Dear God...
Please...
Take pity on me...
Save me from this torture...
This slow death my spirit is dying...
Please anybody who can hear me...
Rescue me...
From my FREE FALLING...