I WONDER...

It's almost 2 in the night...
And i am awake...
The sandman refuses to sprinkle sleep into my eyes...
I am tired but sleep flirts with me...
Refusing to come any closer than just about stroking my eyelids...
And totally frustrated...
I sit in front of my computer...
And doggedly tap at the keyboard...
Determined to do something productive with this sleepless night...
Thoughts swirl around in my head...
Thoughts flashing faster than i can type...
And i wonder what thought to dwell upon...
Suddenly i remember a recent conversation with my friend...
One line in particular is retained...
She was like...
"Wow you are so lucky girl,you have so many people who like you,who want to be a part of your life"...
And hearing these words i was pleased...
More than pleased at that moment...
Happy, estactic, proud even...
But thinking about it now...
In the middle of the silent night...
I wonder what was there to be so happy, so proud about...
Yeah so i'm liked...
I have many friends...
I know many people...
Big deal...
Many of these so called friends are not going to like me more than a decade...
Maybe even less...
And the great ones (Maybe a measely 1%)...
Who will stick by me forever...
Well cease to care how i am and just accept me for me...
So still why do i care...
About pleasing the rest 99% more than the true 1% i have...
Why is it so important to me to be liked by all...
To be accepted...
Is it just me...
Or do we all suffer from this similar trait...
The desire to be liked...
To be accepted...
To belong is so great in all of us...
Sometimes too great...
Great to the point where we override ourselves...
And strive to be what other people need to see...
And like...
Reflections of themselves...
Why is it so important for us please...
More than to be pleased...
Why cannot we just be who we really are...
And open our arms wide to the world with the attitude...
'Accept me for what i am and forever hold your peace...
Otherwise you hold no high power in my life'...
But life doesn't work that way...
We spend each day agonising...
Counting the number of strangers we know...
Contemplating ways to win them over...
Often in the process forgetting the count...
Of the people who stand by us...
Inspite of our shortcomings...
Inspite of our wrong doings...
We chase unimportant things...
Unimportant people...
Running behind forbidden fruit...
And we overlook the jewels we have...
Right in the palm of our hands...
Right where we need them...
And no matter how much we make up our minds...
To not care...
Not change...
Unknowingly...
Maybe even unconciously...
We do...
We become what we are not...
Just to be liked...
Accepted...
Wanted...
To be a part of something which in the bigger picture of life is not always important...
And reading this i think to myself...
To hell with the world...
To hell with the strangers i need to please...
Accept me people, for being me...
Or just scoot...
And then i heave a sigh...
Knowing somewhere along the line this decision is going to be challenged...
And won over...
By the desire to belong...
To be liked by all and sundry...
No matter who no matter where...
Is it just me...
Or does everybody crave for acknowledgement, acceptance...
Love...
I WONDER...