DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL....

I sit at my window...
Looking as the sheets of rain come pouring down...
It seems like the sky is crying...
Emptying its cascade of pain down on earth...
And watching the rain, tears run down my cheeks...
As i go back to this very same day eight years back...
27 th June, 1998....
The worst day that can come into a family's life...
A tragedy that would tear a family apart...
7:00am- A phone call which would change my life...
Forever...
I have always been daddy's little girl...
Ever since i was small...
It was always my father who i used to run to...
To read me a story...
Or take me for a walk...
Or buy me a special treat...
Though it was always my mother who looked over the finer aspects of my life...
My dad wasn't left far behind...
I still recollect with a smile certain exchanges between me and my dad...
Certain games we used to play...
Every morning before i went to school...
It was my dad who used to tie my shoe laces...
In the night it was him who used to get up a million times to see whether i was cold...
To check if my blanket was covering me...
And not lying on the floor...
The one who first taught me to read...
Who taught me cycling...
Running after my cycle for hours...
Never letting go...
The one i ran to for protection when i was naughty...
When i needed to hide from my mom...
The one with whom i shared secrets my mom will never know...
The one who helped me with the creative aspects of schoolwork...
One who gave me his passion for books...
The thirst for knowledge...
Who made maths a joy...
My dad to me was always my very own HERO...
The strongest...
The smartest...
The nicest...
And like every other kid i thought that he was forever...
Nothing in this world could take him away from me...
Steal my Super Hero...
God how wrong i was...
One swipe of the hand of fate...
One tick of the clock...
And everything was over...
My Hero...
My Dad...
Was forever taken away...
From me...
My family...
The words of the doctor still ring in my years...
"I am very sorry madam but your husband just passed away"...
It was like a bomb exploding..
Eveloping my 12 year old small world in a dark cloud...
The fact took so long to sink in..
That my darling daddy was DEAD...
DEAD DEAD DEAD...
And today all i'm left with is a huge gaping hole...
A chasm between me and my dad...
Which only death can now help me cross...
Today my father is in a far away place...
So far that i can't reach out to him...
Can't hug him...
Can't talk to him...
Can't hear him...
And uffff...
How i miss him...
There are so many things i want to say to him...
Left unsaid...
So many things i have achieved that i want him to see...
But alas...
Destiny had other plans for me...
He will never see me graduate...
He will never see me get my first paycheck...
He will never see me getting married...
Never hold his grandchildren in his arms...
He had promised me...
He would never leave...
Never let go of me...
But he walked away...
To a different world...
A different galaxy...
And all i'm left with is snippets of memories...
Of him...
I wish i had him back...
Even for a day...
A minute...
A second...
To hug him and tell him...
"BABAI I LOVE YOU"...
As each day goes by...
Things fade slowly...
The sound of his voice...
The touch of his hands...
And i'm scared...
Scared that oneday all that remain of him are distant memories...
And silent photographs...
And i cry...
My dad wasn't famous...
Or a superhero...
He was my father...
Just my father...
A warm and kind human being...
Some who could bring an instant smile to your face...
Someone who was a loving husband...
A caring son...
A great brother...
And a doting father..
Maybe it hasn't made much difference to the world that my dad is no more...
But to me...
It's a loss i'll always mourn...
Not only because i lost my father to death...
But because with him i lost someone...
I looked up to...
Someone who inspired me...
Someone who was my idol...
If i had one...
Just one more chance to say anything to him...
I would tell him that...
"I LOVE HIM..
MISS HIM...
AND WILL FOREVER BE...
DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL..."